Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
