It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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