Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
