You're so nebulous sometimes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
