Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
