this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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