I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize