I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
