You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
