He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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