The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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