the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
