i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Mom said you looked used
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
