I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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