im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
try to milk me bitch
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize