Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
