absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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