I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
