I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
