she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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