Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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