I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
