It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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