My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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