Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
