I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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