I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
