I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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