just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We need to get me chipped asap
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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