No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
