this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
