Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize