i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
