you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
