My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
