somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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