Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
