if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
