Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
