I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
