Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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