If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
