If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
