You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
