don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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