Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
this boner is exhausting
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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