So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
