Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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