I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
