She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
