How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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