haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
