nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
