Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
