and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
