Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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