I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize