Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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