if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize