She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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