Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
