We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
