How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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