the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
